


stronger than any amortentia

by chasinggstars



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Implied Insomnia, M/M, Panic Attacks, Park Seonghwa is Whipped, hufflepuff!seonghwa, ravenclaw!Hongjoong, seonghwa best boyfriend award
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:42:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28977609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasinggstars/pseuds/chasinggstars
Summary: hongjoong doesn't know how to balance work with life, thankfully, he has seonghwa to hold him once he reaches his breaking point.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 1
Kudos: 74





	stronger than any amortentia

**Author's Note:**

> so uh remember when i said this would be posted approximately a month ago? yeah no me neither :) procrastination is my best friend can you blame me but hey a fresh wave of online learning is all we need to motivate me to post. anyways enjoy some of that delicious hongjoong whump sorry not sorry

The sound of his blood rushing through his ears was the only thing Hongjoong could hear as he squinted through blurry vision at the parchment and books that lay on the desk in front of him. The seas of words were swirls swimming on the pages, his hands trembling as he tried to continue writing them down. Phantom noises of quill scratching on parchment left his ears ringing with an annoying high-pitched beeping piercing though his skull at the back of his hearing.

Rubbing his tired eyes in a poor attempt to relieve the pressure, the sixth year sighed and leaned back in his chair. The library was completely empty, all the lights off and Madam Pince nowhere in sight, as expected since it was nearing 3 am on a Thursday, way past curfew. There still lay a pile of astronomy books waiting to be read and have note taken on them. And then he still had to go over the notes he took and memorise all of them. And the astronomy test was in less than two days. He couldn’t risk failing this test, not only would it affect his grades, it would destroy the remaining confidence he had in the subject.

What had he been thinking, taking astronomy as one of his NEWT subjects? The O he received for his OWLs had given him way too much confidence, and he had completely slacked off. Blinking back a couple tears threatening to form, the Ravenclaw bunched up his cherry-red hair in his fists, staring at the words and forcing them to make sense. How was he supposed to know what the different lunar phases were? Oh, Merlin. He was just going to have to write an apology letter to Professor Sinistra and pray for the best.

Deciding to take a short break, he attempted to stand up from the wooden chair and stretch a bit, only to stumble and fall on shaky legs. Scrambling for purchase on his way down, he grasped at whatever he could get a hold of on the table, only to bring down a stack of papers with him and send a few piles of books tumbling to the ground with a heavy thud. The ink vial tipped over and began running in thick, dark rivulets across the table and onto the legs, staining parchment with carefully crafted notes that took hours to make on its destructive path.

Hongjoong stared at the chaos around him, something so disastrous that only took a couple seconds to happen. There were still a couple of his broken quills snapped by frustration drifting down from where they had been thrust up into the air by the sudden movement. Ink drops fell onto the carpeted floor of the library in a steady rhythm. Drip. Drip. Drip. With every drop, all Hongjoong could do was stare, stare so numbly at all his work, gone.  
  
The prospect of having to make all those notes again, in such a short time period, was daunting to say the least, and it was a path he didn’t want to take. Just the sheer size of the project wanted to make him throw up. Or maybe it was the unholy concoction of at least ten cups of coffee, four invigoration draughts, two memory potions, and one wit-sharpening potion churning inside of him.  
  
Tears prickled at the back of his eyelids again, and this time, he could do nothing to stop them. Fat, salty droplets fell down his cheeks as he sniffled helplessly, holding back sobs as he tried to stay as quiet as possible. He didn’t want any professor or prefect finding him like this. The great Kim Hongjoong, Ravenclaw prefect, top of his class, potions prodigy, quidditch star chaser, most likely future Head Boy candidate, reduced to a humiliating puddle of tears and ink stains on the library floor at the witching hour.  
  
His vision was blurring again, but this time, it was from tears, not exhaustion, thought there was definitely a fair amount of both involved. The sleeves of his robes were soaked, and he just gave up on wiping them away. Sobs were tearing from his throat, building up impatiently and suffocating him. Every breath was thick and painful, his senses struggling to keep up with everything. He wasn’t even trying to stay quiet anymore. The ink was still steadily, albeit slowly, dripping onto the floor. And the stain on the carpet was still growing, creeping closer to where he sat pitifully.  
  
Thunderous sounds of his heart pounding in his chest overwhelmed him, breath jamming in his throat as his chest and heart felt constricted. He clawed at his throat, trying to get some air through, trying ease the heavy pressure. It felt as though there a million-tonne weight on him, stopping his air flow, sending his head spinning at the sensation. Tingling sensations were prickling in his numb legs, travelling through his body, as if he was sitting on a bed of needles. The ink stain was almost at his feet now, threatening to climb up and onto his robes.  
  
Shallow breaths overtook him, chest rising and falling rapidly, but no air actually reaching his lungs. The high-pitched beeping was back from before, louder and more insistent. It hurt his head, waves of nausea rolling over him. The ink had reached his feet now, and he could see it begin to leach into his clothes and-  
  
“Scourgify.”  
  
The ink stain disappeared instantly.  
  
Gentle arms wrapped around him, lifting him into a steady embrace and settling him on solid thighs. Soft scents of lavender and lemon filled the air and swathed him in their calming presence. The rapid breaths hitched in his throat once he realised who it was. Park Seonghwa, his amazing Hufflepuff boyfriend who was always ready to save the day. Even if Hongjoong had been unintentionally ignoring him for the past week. Even if Hongjoong had definitely not been giving him the love and affection he needed and deserved. Even if Hongjoong had been a terrible, terrible boyfriend.  
  
Hiccups bubbled out of his throat as he tried to stop the sobs still wracking his body.  
  
“S-Seongh… Hw-hwa,” his name tumbled out of his lips only to be swallowed up by tears.  
  
“Shh. It’s okay, love. You’re going to be okay.” Seonghwa gently rocked him back and forth on his lap, gently shushing him and stroking his hair and back. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Just breathe with me.”  
  
He softly clasped his hand around Hongjoong’s much smaller, much clammier one, and placed it over his chest, the faint feeling of his heart beating seeping into his skin, trying to concentrate on the stable rise and fall of his breathing. That was what Seonghwa was to him—a constant in the midst of his varying emotions.  
  
Seonghwa continued like that, one hand rubbing calming circles on his back, the other firmly pressing Hongjoong’s hand against his heart, alternating between humming a familiar tune under his breath and whispering reassuring phrases. Eventually, Hongjoong’s breathing and heartrate slowed down to match Seonghwa’s, leaving behind only the sound of faint sniffling and watery hiccups.  
  
“Are you feeling better now?” Seonghwa’s voice was soft and smooth, rich in texture and just as beautiful as him. Hongjoong shivered and nodded weakly, burrowing closer to his boyfriend.  
  
“H-Hwa…”  
  
“Yes, love?” Seonghwa’s kind fingers ran through his hair, toying with the strands and absentmindedly burying his hands in them.  
  
“I-I’m sorry,” he stuttered through choked up cries.  
  
“What for?”  
  
“F-for being a, a bad b-boyfriend, for n-not being with… with you.”  
  
Seonghwa merely gave him a calm smile and gently flicked his nose.  
  
“Oh, you’re such an idiot. How did you ever manage to get yourself into Ravenclaw? You don’t automatically become a bad boyfriend because you don’t hang around me twenty-four seven, Joong. You were busy, you were just trying to study. If anything, I was worried about you.”  
  
Hongjoong blinked up at him with teary eyes, eyebrows furrowed as if disbelieving. Seonghwa couldn’t help but coo at the sight and tucked him closer to his chest. He waited until the younger’s hiccupping and sniffling subsided almost completely before speaking again.  
  
“But I will admit I missed you a lot, Joong. And I was really worried. You skipped all meals, you looked like you were half-dead in class, and Yeosang told me you haven’t even going back to the dorms to sleep.”  
  
Hongjoong’s eyes widened slightly.  
  
“I-I didn’t mean to, there was just this astronomy test coming up, and you know how I totally flunked the last one, so of course I had to study extra hard for it, but turns out there was just so much material being covered, and the only way I could think of to cram it all in was to stay up and take notes, I’m so, so sorry for worrying you, it’s just—”  
  
His rambling was cut off by the gentle press of Seonghwa’s lips against his. He melted into it instantly, whining slightly when Seonghwa pulled away.  
  
“It’s okay, baby, I understand. I just want you to take care of your health while you study. Okay?” Seonghwa reached his hand out for a pinkie promise, and Hongjoong nodded slowly before hooking their fingers together.  
  
Seonghwa grinned and pinched Hongjoong’s cheek between his fingers lightly, giggling when Hongjoong pulled a face.  
  
“Now, let’s clean up this mess you managed to make.”  
  
Hongjoong tensed in his arms, clutching tightly at the front of Seonghwa’s robes.  
  
“What’s the matter, love?”  
  
“My notes… the ink spilled on them. I-I have to make them again now, and I don’t have enough time.” He was trembling slightly, eyes cast downwards.  
  
“It’s okay, we’ll figure something out together. Maybe we can ask Yeosang, he’s really good at astronomy, and I can quiz you with flashcards or something. Whatever we do, we’ll do it together.”  
  
He received a grateful smile in return, albeit still a little shaky, but it was better than nothing. Hongjoong carefully stood up from his lap stumbling slightly, but Seonghwa was there to catch him, like always. Together, they salvaged what they could of Hongjoong’s notes and threw the rest away, re-shelved the fallen books, and Scourgify-ed the table once more just for good measure. Finished, they squished themselves into one armchair together, practically sitting on top of each other.  
  
“How did you find me?” Hongjoong broke the comfortable silence with a question so quiet Seonghwa almost missed it.  
  
“I was patrolling the area, and then I heard a thump, so I came to investigate. And thank God I did. Which reminds me, by the way, I ought to deck at least ten points from Ravenclaw. Just imagine, the prefect sneaking into the library at such ungodly hours! Imagine if Filch or Mrs Norris had found you instead of me.”  
  
“I was studying!” Hongjoong cried indignantly, far more energetic than he had appeared just a minute ago.  
  
“You were abusing your power as a prefect, Joong,” Seonghwa chided with a mock stern expression.  
  
“Well, so are you, you hypocrite. Imagine coddling your boyfriend when you should be doing your job!”  
  
“Only because I love you!”  
  
A warm feeling bloomed inside Hongjoong’s chest, making him feel warmer than he had ever been in the past week, a shy smile forming on his lips. Seonghwa’s face mirrored his smile when Hongjoong snuck a quick peck on his lips.  
  
“Thank you,” he mumbled. Seonghwa didn’t have to ask for what he was thankful; it was already obvious. For finding him, for comforting him, and most importantly, staying with him.  
  
Instead, he chose to return the kiss, drawing him into a longer and deeper one, yet still somehow just as impossibly soft as before.  
  
“We should probably get to bed now.” Seonghwa made a move to stand up, only to halt his movements when a small hand clutched at his wrist.  
  
“I can’t.”  
  
“What do you mean, you can’t? Surely you don’t plan on continuing to study, do you?”  
  
“No, like, I physically can’t. I’ve had too many coffees and potions, and now I literally can’t fall asleep.”  
  
Seonghwa knitted his eyebrows before sighing.  
  
“Alright, then. I thought you might have taken one too many potions, so I didn’t want to suggest this, but let’s first get you some food, and then I’ll give you a draught of peace and a potion for dreamless sleep. I know you barely ate this week, though, so we’re definitely going to get you to eat first.”  
  
“And how do you plan on doing that without, please excuse me, abusing our power as prefects?”  
  
“Oh, you silly Ravenclaw. Obviously, I’ll just abuse my power as a Hufflepuff. Perks of sleeping right next to the kitchens.” Seonghwa flashed him a devious grin, and Hongjoong couldn’t help but let out a snort.  
  
“Those potions of yours better not have been brewed by you, Park Seonghwa, unless you plan on murdering me.”  
  
“You wound me. But don’t worry, they’re my grandma’s work.”  
  
A pang of guilt went through Hongjoong at that, suddenly reminded about Seonghwa’s frequent inability to fall asleep. He felt bad for taking some from his stash when he probably needed it more than he did.  
  
Seonghwa must have caught on to his expressions, because he added, “I have too many anyways. She’s definitely going to send me back with more after the winter holidays, and I still have at least half of what she gave me at the start of the year left.”  
  
“Alrighty then. Can I sleep in your dorms today?”  
  
“Were you not going to?” Seonghwa said with a pout, and Hongjoong couldn’t help but laugh and plant a kiss on his lips.  
  
“Let’s go, you idiot. I’m starving.”  
  
Hand in hand, they left the library, Hongjoong’s fingers curled around the recovered parchment, and Seonghwa holding onto the candle that lit the way. The path that lay before them was dark, but together, they could light it up with the brightness of a thousand stars.

**Author's Note:**

> i would say follow me on twitter and drop me a message on cc but uh i feel like im too inactive on both sites for that :/


End file.
